June 10, 2014 was my 24th birthday.
My birthday fell on a Tuesday this year, so Monday night after class I had a few drinks with classmates (Taylor and Shelby) and then a brownie and ice cream! Was a nice time.
I spent the next day at work, and nobody knew it was my birthday except the person in a parallel position to mine. Lauren, the Exec Asst to the President of EU...she's so sweet! Bought me a cupcake, card and lipgloss.
I went to dinner, and only 2 of maybe 11 people invited showed up. Had an after event planned and that turned out to be karaoke night and a Heat game...so the spoken word I was looking forward to didn't happen.
But you know, I was like it's age 24..it's not really a big deal. I am not expecting much out of this one. And I am so happy I didn't get my hopes up high or I would have been devastated.
Yesterday evening was this guy i started talking to birthday...he turned 24 just like I did. And he told me he would keep me updated on the plans "he didn't have" and I told him "I would like to spend the night celebrating with him"
However he ignored all my calls and texts...I went by his house to surprise him and he wasn't there. he was already dressed and gone to "the office" some strip club in miami. so i went home and couldn't believe he ditched me and lied to me, because he said...he had just woken up about 30 mins prior.
So, I went home and cried myself to sleep. Realizing that I always blame the guys for being lame, disrespectful, not realizing they have a good thing, blah blah blah...but after all the guys I have liked, I have loved, or I have slept with...the only common factor is me! Something has to be wrong with me...fuck the car, apt, degree(s), or fact that I have no kids...not even any scares. And yet I'm single...nobody pursuing me, nobody wanting to spend time with me. I just get used and abused by people I think deserve a chance.
I don't wanna have sex with anyone, like anyone, or spend time with anyone...anymore. It's depressing to continuously get my feelings hurt by people who don't care about me.
So my birthday week, in a nutshell sucked. I post pics to IG to make it seem like I am enjoying life and having a good time...but every day just sucks more than the last. I am unhappy in school, work, and relationship wise. Lord when will it be my turn to be happy. I work so hard, every day to do right by everyone, but who is trying to do right by me?
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