Not going to ever beg for your love!

It's funny to me how some people never actually change.

I gave you my heart six months ago, and you broke it. You blatantly disrespected me, my body, mind and heart. But yet and still, I still love you wholeheartedly. I trust you better than I did before. I know where I want to be in relation to you and what I expect from you. But I'm getting neither. I text you every day, call you just so you know I'm thinking about you. You respond to half the text and zero percent of the phone calls. I'm feeling like a hostage.
you're up or you're down, but you don't reach out to me. If anything you pull away from me more and more each day. I told you from months ago, don't do that. Don't shut down and kick me out. How the fuck am I supposed to be a good gf, friend, confident or sister to you if you keep pushing me farther and farther away from you?

I don't even know you any more. I'm tired. I just want to be loved back wholeheartedly. I don't want to ever second guess how you feel about me. And when we aren't communicating I do that. Because I don't get how sometime can love someone or ask to be in a serious relationship with them and not bend over backwards to talk to them or visit them in their free time.

I can't operate like this. Either get it together or walk back out of my life. I refuse to beg you to love me, and show me it's real.